I am going to start by apologizing if my words or sentences are jumbled, this is a real struggle for me to talk about. When I was roughly 15/16 I had been sent to a residential psychiatric hospital in Reno, Nevada. Though I only spent six months there, they were some of the hardest months of my life, and still, haunt me to this day.
On my first day, I felt like I was walking into a prison lobby in a movie. They took all my shoes and clothes, made me strip naked, and examined every inch of my body for what felt like hours. I was given medication that they said would help calm me down and I do not remember the rest of the day.
I remember constantly feeling like a prisoner or a science experiment. I could not stand too close to other people, there was no physical contact of any kind. I was put into the “quiet room” or an isolation cell every couple of days for being too talkative or for asking too many questions. I was given multiple shots in my butt which would knock me out for a day or two and heavily sedate me. They kept forcing me to take meds and I did not know what they were. Some mornings I would stand to get out of bed and pass out from having such low blood pressure, caused by overprescribing my meds.
There were some days we were not even allowed outside, and if we were, it was for an hour at most. I called my mom almost every night crying and begging her to pick me up, but the doctors kept telling her I was not ready. I had a roommate who had been there for three and a half years. Halfway through my stay, she was kicked out onto the streets because she turned 18. I do not think anyone has heard from her since then.
It has been about 10 years since I was taken out by my mom against the doctor’s orders. I still suffer from some of the memories and have a hard time trusting people or keeping people in my life. I probably will forever.