“I have weighed breaking my silence on this for so long. I was worried how it would affect my career, my relationships and more. But curiously enough after watching Paris Hiltons documentary on her similar experience (and “The Vow” on HBO) I am not afraid any more. I have been speaking with many of my peers and fellow survivors. I am a survivor. They couldn’t break me.
My name is Ben Runyan and I am #breakingcodesilence . I was an unwilling participant in Northwest Academy’s “troubled teen” program from May of 2004 to March of 2005 (in Peer Group 28) when the program shut down. From my entry into Ascent Wilderness Program (which preceded NWA) to the time I left, there was one constant. The removal of self identity, independent thinking, psychological freedom and the concept of the individual. The scars of that place left me with dysfunctional relationships, low self esteem, PTSD, fear of abandonment and distrust of authority for more than a decade afterwards.
Now being in a position of caring for young adults, I can safely say, I would NEVER treat kids/young adults the way I was treated. Trust was broken in almost every way you can imagine.
NWA was based on a cult from the 1960s started by Mel Wasserman and Charles Dietrech called “Synannon”. It was a counter-culture hippie pseudo-psychology masquerading as science. And we were all victims of its Cult.
Weekly my peers and I were subjected to “rap sessions” which where nothing more than attack therapy to dig up meaningless transgressions that were deemed “out of agreement” with the program. They were designed to humiliate you in front of your peers, and also serve as a warning to those that didn’t submit to the brainwashing. Anyone that came in and thought (like me) that they could resist the programming was soon struck down until they became “in agreement”. The rap sessions would go on for 3 or more hours as people would sit across from you and “indict” you on any random piece of dirt they could find on you. Your peers were instructed to find the best and worst things about you (a truth and a lie word) and then pin that on you. These truth and lie words would follow you around the entire time there.
The staff were largely not trained in either child psychology or social work of any kind and were often left unsupervised by those that were. Many of these staff members were former students as well, or ex-convicts, drug users or worse, often predators. Many never went through background checks. Phone calls with our parents were 5 minutes once ever two weeks. They were supervised by a counselor sitting next to us listening on the phone so that we would not say anything incriminating to the school. Our letters were also combed for any information that could be seen as dissent.
Many women who spoke out about sexual assault were told it was their fault, and that they deserved it. We were all told that we were fundamentally broken and only THEY could fix us. We believed it.
Once every few months we were subjected to hours long “emotional growth” sessions (called “heart of a child”, “brothers”, “I want to live” etc…) that were called “Propheets”, the name loosely based of Khalil Gibran’s “The Prophet”. During these sessions were subjected to constant interrogation sessions and forced “disclosure circles” where we would be coerced to admit dark our shameful parts of our lives in front of peers and counselors we barely knew. We were instructed often to lay in “smush” piles that created inappropriate boundaries with our peers and counselors. After being interrogated and pushed to our emotional limits we were then subjected to music from John Lennon, Neil Diamond, Bette Middler, John Denver and more. It was all designed to break down our will, and be re-programmed with whatever pseudo-science they wanted us to believe. All of this was done in the obscurity of total isolation in the woods removed from society. There was no oversight, there was no escaping, and there was no resisting the programming.
It took me many years of therapy, and talking to my peers that were with me there, but I am starting to finally learn why I had so much trouble growing up. I wouldn’t wish what happened to me on anybody, and I hope that my words and testimony can prevent others from going through it. The mind of a 17 year old is innocent, naïve, and delicate. What happened to us there set us back so many years.
I have seen 1 in 30 of my peers commit suicide over the 16 years since my internment. Many more have died from risky behavior.
My hope in speaking out is that the “Troubled Teen” industry that is a FOR profit prison system can be muscled into submission, or at the very least some sort of regulation. Just think if it could happen to me, just think what happens to little boys of Color. Think about how they can be dissapeared, and forgotten… erased. I never want someone to go through what I did. Ultimately the school shut down while I was there, due to pending litigation (cases were all about abuse). It was re-opened under the banner of a new company, and I believe exists to this day.
Thank you to all my peers that were there with me, in the woods so long ago, that gave met the courage to speak up.
Check out the links below for Psycho-Social breakdowns of what happened.
The CULT history of the CEDU school system and the Dissapearance of Daniel Yuen – Salon.com – https://www.salon.com/…/the-lost-kids-podcast-josh…/
Podcast: THE LOST KIDS – https://podcasts.apple.com/…/the-lost-kids/id1514836398
International Cultic Studies Association (Psycho-Social Breakdown on the Continnum of Informed Consent)- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iZE9cjDrM8&feature=youtu.be”
-Ben