“I wanted to share this and maybe it’ll help someone. When I was a teenager I was sent to several different places. One was Provo Canyon school in Utah, one was detention, and one was a wilderness program in Utah called the Aspen program. I had my share of hard experiences while I was in them. When I was in the Aspen program we showed up, we’re issued a set of clothes and shoes, they fed us a meal then at night time they blindfolded us and took us out to the middle of nowhere. Once we got there we had to hike for miles. It was a nightmare. They didn’t feed us for 3 days and still made us hike miles and miles every day. When they finally fed us it was one can of fruit and that’s it. Then off to hike more. If anyone needed to rest… we had to hike longer into the night. We had to drink from ponds, creeks, and cow troughs. We had to carry soooo many items on our backs wrapped up in a tarp, secured with a seatbelt strap (I still have nerve damage because of it). We had to sleep under the stars with no cover, merely a sleeping bag. When we were physically ill from all of this it didn’t even matter, we still had to hike miles and miles everyday for 2 months. They treated us like crap if we needed to rest even for a moment. We were not even allowed to brush our teeth but 2 times in 2 months. This program broke my spirit.
The second place was Provo Canyon School in Utah. I spent most of my time there on the bad unit from the beginning.The repeatedly verbally abused me and other girls that were there. I witnessed other girls being physically and verbally abused. They made fun of me on a regular basis. I was called a bitch and other things in front of all the other girls all the time. It was so humiliating. I didn’t matter as a person and neither did any of the other girls there. We were just a nuisance. I spent lots of time in a chair facing the wall for hours at a time. They often force fed us. Even though I had gained over 30 pounds they still required me to eat everything on my plate even if I wasn’t hungry. Forced me to overeat. Forced me to take medicine I didn’t need not want to take. My therapist was not helpful or trustworthy.
Everything I said in therapy was relayed to my parents. There was no trust with my therapist. They made me to feel ashamed to be me. I wasn’t even that bad. I was shy and introverted.
Other girls there were shamed as well and I have very vivid memories of one in particular which was Paris Hilton. She and I were roommates at one point and good friends. They frequently made fun of her and teased her because of who she was. It was fucked up. being in these places caused me more issues than they helped. While all my friends were out there being teenagers I was locked up. While all the other teenagers were out there maturing as teens do I was stuck locked away. I didn’t get to have the normal experiences that other teenagers do. I missed out. I didn’t realize some of my issues I have now are because of being locked away in those places.
I really don’t think sending your children to those places is very beneficial. They don’t care for your kids. All it is to them is a paycheck.
It causes issues later in life. I now have PTSD and fear of abandonment. Shame. Total fear of therapy. I wasn’t that bad of a girl and didn’t need to be sent away. I just needed to be loved.”
-Jessica