“My name is Allison and I was in Provo Canyon School during late ‘93, early ‘94.
I blocked out a lot that had happened during that time in my life because I cannot remember how I got to the school. I do not remember being transported from California and cannot remember if I was taken in the middle of the night or during the day. What I do remember is arriving and seeing a lot of snow and not much else around.
I remember going to the orientation unit, and within the first week, I got sent to the punishment unit with a crazy number of hours to stand against a wall. (It was 1000 hours or something like that.) The reason for my punishment was I snuck $20 in my bra and my roommate told on me. I remember being thrown in a concrete room, I cannot remember if I was fully naked or had my bra and panties, but I do remember it being cold. I remember I panicked, and they gave me a sedation shot that made me drool and it was extremely hard for me to move. I remember the time was 72 hours in that room. I remember being forced to take pills, but I did not know what the pills were.
I became very numb psychologically at the school. For 12 hours a day, (maybe more), I had to stand facing a wall. I think every half hour or hour they gave a small sit-down break. I remember if you slouched, looked to the side, or spoke, they would threaten to throw you in the concrete room. I remember some people screaming and in straitjackets. I remember some kids had been there for years. I remember you had to eat all of your food. There was one girl in the punishment unit who was force-fed all the time, and you could hear her screaming and fighting the staff. I finally made it out of the punishment unit for maybe a week and got in trouble for passing a note to a friend during quiet-time, so they sent me right back. I remember the staff yelling and humiliating the students. I also remember always thinking everything was my fault.
I was only 13 years old and had been dealing with some serious issues that happened at my home. I was acting out, but I did not need to be told everything was my fault, and I was a horrible kid. What I needed was love and someone to listen to me. I did not realize until my 20s that my acting out was not my fault. It was a child’s reaction to a very bad situation. I was only at Provo for a short time because my parents’ insurance coverage ran out. Even in a short time, this was a life-changing experience for me. This experience was not okay for me or anyone else to go through.”